It's My Fault I'm Unhappy

A week ago I went to see the movie "Eat, Pray, Love" with some girlfriends. It was exactly what I expected it to be...reminded me of "Under the Tuscan Sun"

The story is always the same. Successful business woman goes through a nasty divorce that leaves her questioning her sense of identity. She has no children, no true responsibilities. She packs up her belongings and starts over, embarking upon a spiritual journey. A journey of self-discovery in a foreign land, i.e. Tuscany, Rome, India, or Bali. She discovers new friends, smells, tastes, life-styles, and lovers. She is inspired by the love around her, and slowly but surely, she builds herself back up from her ruins, to discover she is worthy of love, and thus love finds her. He holds a mirror to her face and shows her that the woman within that she has always been, is the woman he wants to love for a lifetime. He was just out there, waiting for her to rediscover her true self.

But what about the rest of us? What about those of us tied into place by our lives? Those of us strapped here by family, responsibilities, and lacking the previous financial success that affords us to move across the world and renovate a villa to our liking? What of us who do not already have a publisher contact who will happily publish our personal unveiling? What of us who are just as unhappy in our personal lives, and have lost our true identities in the situations, relationships, and the daily grind that surrounds us?

And what about love? What about those of us that once believed in the power of love, but have only ever been scared by love’s immense heat and find ourselves amidst only ashes? What is there isn’t someone out there for everyone? What if love never finds us? Can we still be complete, love and fully be loved if we never meet our “Mr. Right”? Can we be our own Prince Charming and can we get a “Happily Ever After”? What about those of us meant to go it alone? Who will tell our story?

So, I venture to see if the rest of the world, outside of Hollywood Fairytales, can find happiness. I have two $11/hr jobs, no health insurance, barely making ends meet, with a Masters Degree and a dream. I believe luck isn’t something you have that makes you successful. But success is what you make of your life. Here goes the challenge…making your life what you want it to be, rediscovering the "you" lost, and doing it all in the life we already have.

One line I liked from the movie..."Ruins are a gift. From ruins comes transformation. "

Steps:

Celibacy: Sex and relationships for 3 months.
Tai Chi: Find a studio
Gym: Actually go. Minimum 3 times a week. 6 am. Make it a point to get up for my life.
Food: Change what it means. Its nourishment and not a comfort item.
Family: Set boundaries, make ammends, find my voice.
Friends: Remember what it means to be a good one and keep striving everyday to be the kind of friend that I need.
Job: Find one. Attack leads. Be fervent.
The EX…be done. No more memories, hate, stories, rendezvous… be DONE.
Ask best friend for permission in all aspects of important decision making.

No more excuses...just make my life what I want it to be and find the confident,intelligent, worthy woman I tell all my friends that they truly are...